Monkey Gourmet by Felix Heng

Mike was 30. At 5’6” and weighing 250lbs , he was definitely one of those who lived to eat. He loved his food especially if it was fresh and by that it had to be almost jumping off the plate. Steaks had to be dripping blood; he loved it rare. Sashimi was good only if the head of the fish or lobster was still moving when you were feasting on its body. Last year for his birthday , his friends brought him to a restaurant which served a specialty which featured a live fish which had half it’s body deep fried. It was served so that the head of the fish was still moving and wriggling while diners ate the deep fried bottom half of the fish. All Mike’s friends knew of his bizarre eating habits and one Halloween they stewed him a plate of innards which he slurped down much to their disgust. Mike loved going to the wet markets to watch the fishmonger chop off the heads of frogs and then skin them in one deft move or watch them chop the heads off live fish and lay them in straight rows. Their mouths and eyes would still be moving on the decapitated heads. Mike took a picture of that once and that was his Christmas card to his friends and family that year. He was glad he lived in Hong Kong as they still did the slaughter of poultry and other animals right there in the market and he liked that because it meant that everything was fresh.
It was only recently that Mike was introduced to a little Chinese restaurant which served a delicacy which he had heard about but never tried……fresh monkey’s brain. The consumption of animal brain is common in many cultures. In the Southern states in the US, you can buy canned pig’s brains. In France you can buy tete de veau or head of calf. The Chinese eat pig’s brain and believe it is full of nutritious value. It was a popular belief in China that eating monkey’s brain can prevent impotence. God knows he needed all the help he could get in that department. Every girl he ever went out with never went further than the second date. Maybe it was the choice of restaurants he brought his dates to or maybe it was his choice of dinner items that repulsed them. None of the girls he went out with thought that visiting the wholesale fish centre at 5am was an exciting date or would even try live raw food other than the occasional salmon or tuna sashimi.
The little restaurant called China Herbal, where Mike first tried the delicacy, was one which served mostly herbal exotic dishes. Monkey’s brain was its specialty and you had to order it weeks in advance. A special table was used when you ordered this dish. It had a hole in the center and the live monkey was pushed under it so that it’s head was locked in place and only the top part of the head protruded out the hole. The monkey’s eyes are just at the level of the table so that it could actually see who was at the dinner table eating it’s brain. The monkey was securely tied under the table and it was also muzzled so that it did not make a sound when the top of the monkey’s skull was removed with a knife. Liquor was mixed with the brain and guests used long ladled spoons to dish out and eat parts of the brain in it’s raw form. The liquor helped “cook” it. After that first taste , Mike was hooked. He would go back to the restaurant every month. It was an expensive meal but he was making more than enough as an investment analyst so he indulged himself once a month.
Mike walked to work as his office was only ten minutes away from where he lived. China Herbal was on his way to work and one day while taking a short cut through the alley behind the restaurant, Mike noticed a large cage about 10 feet by 10 feet which housed about 10 monkeys. He was fascinated by the monkeys and figured they were being reared specially for the monkey brain’s dinner. After discovering the cage he made it a point to walk that way every morning. He would stop at the cage and spend ten to fifteen minutes watching the monkeys and soon he was bringing bananas to feed them. The monkeys seemed afraid of him. It was almost like they knew that he was one of those who ate their brains. The first few times when he stuck the banana through the cage none of the monkeys even came close. They feared him. He was the enemy. Mike grew impatient and just threw the bananas into the cage . Once as he held the banana, a small monkey moved to within 2 feet of him and just as it reached out to grab the banana, Mike pulled back his hand. The monkey threw itself on the cage screeching. Mike fell backwards in shock. He had not anticipated that. He was furious at himself of being afraid of a stupid monkey. He reached out for a large wooden pole he found next to the cage and hit the side of the cage with all his might, denting it. The monkeys screeched their high pitched yells and swung madly around the cage. Mike got up , threw down the stick and ran out of the alley before anyone in the restaurant could come out to check what the commotion was all about.
Over the next couple of weeks, Mike would disturb the monkeys whenever he walked past the cage. They almost could sense it when he neared the cage as all the monkeys would retreat to the back of the cage and wait for his taunting with the large stick. He would usually bring a banana and stick it through the bars baiting them to come to him. Then , as they reached out for it , he would pull it back through the bars and poke them in the ribs with the stick. This gave him so much pleasure to see the frustration on the faces of the animals. He would stand there eating the banana and then walk away, leaving them shrieking in frustration.
It was on one of these occasions when he stuck out his hand a little too far and too long when one of the monkeys swung down from the top of the cage and ripped not only the banana from his hand but also his wrist watch. His $20,000 Frank Mueller watch now lay in the middle of the cage. Mike was furious and now desperately looked for a way to get his watch back. It was too far in the cage to reach with the stick. He also banged the stick on the side of the cage to stop the monkeys from grabbing the watch . He noticed that the door to the cage was unlocked. There was a rusty old padlock hanging on the hinge but it was not secured. He opened the lock and made his way carefully into the cage. It was large enough for him to stand upright . He carried the stick with him as a weapon. The monkeys were strangely silent as Mike made his was to where his watch was. Always keeping one eye on them , Mike bent down to pick up his watch . In that split second when he turned to pick up his watch , all 6 monkeys in the cage pounced on him. Two were on his back , there was one each clinging on to his legs and another two on his chest . He screamed and tore at them as he felt their sharp claws and razor-sharp teeth dig into his skin , ripping it apart as warm blood flowed down his limbs onto the cage floor. The monkeys screeching mingled with Mike’s screams. He was on the floor of the cage now and everything was spinning. The screaming monkeys had retreated again to the back of the cage and Mike lay on the ground . His clothes had been ripped to shreads and as he opened his eyes he noticed that his body was covered with brownish grey hair which was caked with the mud from the ground and blood from the multiple lesions he had on his now completely hairy naked body. He screamed as he looked at his hirsuite limbs. Instead of a human voice what came out of his mouth was the piercing shrill screech of a monkey. He thought to himself , “ This is all a nightmare.” As he screeched , the monkeys in the back of the cage screeched in unison. It was almost like they were saying “ Welcome to the family, Mike.”
The door to the restaurant flung open and a man ran out to see what the racket was all about. He carried what looked like a long pole with a noose at the end and a sack. As he opened the cage door , he stuck the noose in and looped it over Mike’s head. Mike screamed and tried to tell him what had happened but all that came out of his mouth were the futile screeches of a monkey. Mike was dragged out of the cage and flung into the large sack.
It was pitch black in the sack and all Mike could hear were sounds like they were in the kitchen. He had screamed himself hoarse and there were only quiet whimpers coming from his sore throat. He could tell that there were people rushing to and fro and that there was a lot of activity going on. Suddenly he felt the sack open and a large gloved hand grabbed him by the neck and he felt like it was choking the life out of him. He could not breathe. He was blacking out. Then he felt his body being held by metal straps. But he could breathe once again and swallowed huge gulps of air. As he slowly opened his eyes he saw that he was in a brightly lit room surrounded by eight people all talking and laughing. He saw cutlery laid out on the table and soon it became familiar to him. He realized where he was. It was the special dining room of the restaurant where he dined on his monthly indulgence. The room with the special table where they served their house specialty ……..monkey brains. He screamed as he very quickly realized that he was going to be the special treat for the night. His head was clamped so tight that he could not move an inch . There was a muzzle around his mouth so that only the barest whimper could be heard. He struggled to get out of the clamps but it was totally useless. The more he struggled and tighter the clamps became. He was helpless. From the corner of his eye he saw the chef walk in with a chopper whose blade glittered as it caught the light from the chandelier hanging above the table. He felt a sharp pain on top of his head; like an intense migraine , only thousand times worse. Everything started to spin right then. There was strong smell of alcohol; it was XO Brandy. It actually felt strangely intoxicating. Mercifully his body started to shut down and everything started fading to black but not before Mike watched in horror as the man right in front of him reached out with his long–handled spoon and dished something warm and greyish into his mouth……….a spoonful of delicious monkey brain.....his brain!

The End